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What if you knew you were one conversation away from achieving positive change in your life?

Some conversations can be hard to start, but the reality is, conversations can be game-changers.

Especially when you’re going through a tough time, talking to someone you trust can be one of the best things you can do.

Here are 6 steps to help you get a conversation started with someone you trust:

1. Write down thoughts

Writing things out can help give structure to thoughts. A letter is a good way to do this and will also help you plan what you will say. Listing out bullet points on your phone can also be a good way to clarify your thoughts.

Write down your thoughts

2. Pick a good place

Sitting across a table from someone can feel way too awkward sometimes, so how about having the conversation while you are walking, or driving, or if you are at home, it could even be while you are doing the dishes. Or if it’s a teacher you have chosen to speak with, try to find a space at school where you will be comfortable speaking, and without distractions.

Pick a good place

3. Pick a good time

Choose a time when your person can give you their undivided attention.
While there’s often never a perfect time for some conversations, try to choose a time where you can both focus.
If it turns out that they have to rush off, don’t give up, ask them to find a time when you can have their full attention.

Pick a good time

4. It doesn’t have to be perfect

If you don’t even know what you want to get out of the conversation, that’s totally okay. The point is to have the conversation so that people who care can help you start to work out what to do.

Sometimes you may just need someone to listen to you. And if you do know what outcome you want, be clear in your mind with that before you start the conversation – but also be prepared to listen to what your trusted person says to you.

If you don’t know how to start, try this and see where it takes you:

‘I’m stressed out, and I need your advice please.’

If you are still feeling uncomfortable about doing this, send a text or Snapchat message to get the conversation started; the main thing is not to delay.

Done is better than perfect

5. Trust yourself

Whatever you feel or think (even if you can’t explain it) is okay but keeping feelings to yourself can leave you feeling even more angry, upset, anxious or alone.

Getting your feelings heard and understood is important because there may be another valuable perspective you might not have thought of, and if you trust yourself to take this on board, it can greatly relieve stress and anxiety.

Trust yourself

6. Keep trying

If you feel like you’re not being taken seriously or you feel more worried after talking to your trusted person, try talking to another adult you trust.

It can often help to get advice from different people and then decide what makes sense for you.

No-one has to go through stress and anxiety alone – everyone deserves the chance to talk to someone.

Keep trying

Last Updated: 10 August 2020

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